visions and dreaming of a Toltec Nagual

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Find the Balance…

imagesThey say think positively, always try and see the positive side of every situation! But its hard when disaster hits and all you can see, feel or hope to know is the pain of the misfortune that the circumstances have caused you… But it’s true there is a positive side to every negative situation, a plus hiding within every negation. If only we could see it…and in as much as this is always an opportunity to learn, to transcend oneself and launch into Superconsciousness… then the willingness to learn from the mistake, to disregard the misfortune and take understanding from it instead, and speak positively into every situation – there is the ability right there. A chance to turn the world around. To see from a whole new perspective! And Turn the curse into a blessing! TW

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The Spirit Catcher

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“Now let us call that spirit of the water hole,” he said.

I tried to turn my head to look at him. He held me vigorously by the hair and said that I was in a very vulnerable position and in a terribly weak physical state and had to remain quiet and motionless. He had put all those special branches on my belly to protect me and was going to remain next to me in case I could not take care of myself.

He was standing next to the top of my head, and if I rolled my eyes I could see him. He took his string and tensed it and then realized I was looking at him by rolling my eyes way into my forehead. He gave me a snappy tap on the head with his knuckles and ordered me to look at the sky, not to close my eyes, and to concentrate on the sound. He added, as if on second thought, that I should not hesitate to yell the word he had taught me if I felt something was coming at me.

Don Juan and his “spirit catcher” began with a low-tension twang. He slowly increased the tension, and I began to hear a sort of reverberation first, and then a definite echo which came consistently from a southeasterly direction. The tension increased. Don Juan and his “spirit catcher” were perfectly matched. The string produced a low-range note and don Juan magnified it, increasing its intensity until it was a penetrating cry, a howling call. The apex was an eerie shriek, inconceivable from the point of view of my own experience.

The sound reverberated in the mountains and echoed back to us. I fancied it was coming directly toward me. I felt it had something to do with the temperature of my body. Before don Juan started his calls I had been very warm and comfortable, but during the highest point of his calls I became chilled; my teeth chattered uncontrollably and I truly had the sensation that something was coming at me.

At one point I noticed that the sky had become very dark. I had not been aware of the sky although I was looking at it. I had a moment of intense panic and I yelled the word don Juan had taught me.

Don Juan immediately began to decrease the tension of his eerie calls, but that did not bring me any relief.

“Cover your ears,” don Juan mumbled imperatively.

I covered them with my hands.

After some minutes don Juan stopped altogether and came around to my side. After he had taken the branches and leaves off my belly, he helped me up and carefully put them on the rock where I had been lying. He made a fire with them, and while it burned he rubbed my stomach with other leaves from his pouch.

He put his hand on my mouth when I was about to tell him that I had a terrible headache.

We stayed there until all the leaves had burned. It was fairly dark by then. We walked down the hill and I got sick to my stomach.

A Separate Reality: Chapter 11. [Carlos Castaneda]

The Crack between the Worlds


HomemnoUniverso

“Every one of us has an energetic fissure, an energetic crack below the navel. That crack, which sorcerers call the gap, is closed when a man is in his prime.
Normally, all that is discernible to the sorcerer’s eye is a tenuous discoloration in the otherwise whitish glow of the luminous sphere. But when a man is close to dying, that gap becomes quite apparent.”

Don Juan Matus ~ The Active side of Infinity (Carlos Castaneda)

Gap

“Dreaming is the vehicle that brings dreamers to this world,” the emissary said, “and everything sorcerers know about dreaming was taught to them by us. Our world is connected to yours by a door called dreams. We know how to go through that door, but men don’t. They have to learn it.”

Carlos Castaneda ~ The Art of Dreaming, Page: 117

Losing human form

Our self reflection is literally a mirror through which we observe the soul; while we stare at our reflection finding wonderment or disappointment with ourselves, the world is there just slightly out of our grasp….. Self reflection is our interpretation of world, it is the description of our reality, but seeing the world as through a prism… With the light broken and the image distorted! If we learn to quieten our minds and stop the chattering, we will eventually learn to by-pass this self-reflective process and see the world for what it is, or rather for ‘how’ it is! The truths we find so solid and immovable are rooted in our perception which are in turn informed by our self-reflection!

Losing human form is the term for stepping beyond the bounds of one’s self importance. To be focused upon the self makes one heavy, clumsy, and vain. We always have self interest at the heart of every matter while we consider ourselves to be the most important “person” in the Universe, we will always be hurt, disappointed and abused. Self importance is easily damaged. And then we have to rush to re-establish our status. It’s like a balloon with a slow leak that you must constantly re-inflate and repeat (ad infinitum). It is possible to burst the balloon completely however. The means of eradicating it permanently is possible; but cannot be rushed. The warrior’s act of recapitulation is part of what is involved in eroding self importance. A warrior through the art of not-doing builds up personal power over the course of their lives. As personal power builds gradually throughout the life of the warrior, they will eventually reach one day a tipping point. Don Juan stated that the only resource available for gaining the extra energy needed to reach this escape velocity was through inorganic beings. This is why a warrior stalks his dreams, and the reason he scales the heights of altered consciousness. Dreaming is a gateway for the sorcerer, a place of higher meeting. The inorganic beings are capable of reaching into our dreams. They crave contact with those who choose impeccability. Heightened states of awareness through shamanic practices and the use of power plants; which are of course allies to the man of knowledge, are another means of making contact with the inorganic beings. So a man of knowledge occupies himself with these concepts during his lifetime and heads towards the show down that will ultimately mean the vanquishing of his self importance.

The shift is always a different matter for everyone depending on their predilection. It is rather like trying to crack a rock with water. Ice will do it, it gets into the cracks of the rock, freezes and expands, shattering the rocks solidity. Rushing water will do it, depending on how fast the river is. And dripping water will eventually erode the rock, it is just a matter of time. In the same way self importance holds out and will only be relinquished after a fight. So there are many factors that determine how a warrior will be able to deal self-importance the fatal blow.

It comes down to a moment of transcendence; if you will. A place where personal power has build to such an extent that to all intensive purposes, a warrior is no longer human – hence losing human form! The inorganic energy that a warrior builds up gradually throughout their life, tips the scales. He possess more inorganic energy than human energy, making him something other than human. The luminous cocoon cracks for the third time and he becomes a formless man. Entering into silent knowledge. This term means ultimately having outrun his habits, routines and personal history. At this moment the internal dialogue takes on a different shape. The bias changes. Away from constantly having to work to shut down the internal dialogue to instead internal silence becoming predominate. The internal dialogue collapses, as does the sorcerer’s explanation. At this point – everything will go. The weight of ones Self importance is too great to sustain the description of the world and it collapses.

When this happened to me, I was in a hotel room in Istanbul. Having taken flight across Europe. Through Holland, France, Austria, Hungary, Romania, Greece and then finally via a train to Turkey, I arrived at a ‘fait accompli’. I had no more options left! All the struggles i had endured for a decade had mounted upon me, I felt heavy. I was caught between a rock and a hard place. I could no longer fight. No longer could I go forward and nowhere to go back. All the things I was running from at that time seemed a million miles away and yet there I was on the brink of death once again. Ready to put myself out on the boarder between Syria and Turkey – a badlands where terrorists hide out from the security forces. My fate was sealed!

I had no alternative, no more options left. Then suddenly I ‘saw‘. It is always better to be alive than dead, once your dead you have no options left at all. But what could I do? And then it came to me like upon on a wave. I realised there was nothing left I could do but “surrender“. On the  train coming into Istanbul I had been held up in a carriage with several other people. I had heard the ally, he spoke to me and said: “you do still consider me an ally don’t you?” and that was all he said. But from this moment I knew something tumultuous was coming. The event descended upon me as I sat in this hotel room several thousand miles away from all my problems…. And yet there it was – everything still haunting me. But the distance had given me insight, I suddenly saw again that it gave me a chance, a cubic square of opportunity. Which seemed to hover in front of my eyes. I Seized the opportunity. I gave into the moment “ I Surrendered to everything“. I broke into floods of tears, and then I was immediately comforted by a gentle invisible golden rain. I could clearly see falling all around me like a shower of golden speckles.

I sobbed for almost an hour and a half until all my tears seemed to have all been cried. With a renewed vigor, I left the hotel room and set out for the airport. I got my money back off the coach ticket for the journey to Damascus, that I had bought without being able afford the visa ….. this played an important role in the decision I was able to make. So I caught a tram with the money I now had from the ticket and went to the airport with the hope of contacting someone who might be able to assist me with a flight home to face the music. I had a Divorce to go through, I had abandoned my flat and I had a court case pending. But I had transcended everything. Surrendered. I had accepted my fate. I was released from the self importance, that had plagued me for so long. Once this Moment occurs there is no turning back. My integrity returned to me and I was reconstructed. My luminous being for the first time in years was en-tact. I thought I had done all the crying I was going to do, but instead I would uncontrollably burst into tears at the drop of a hat. This was pretty awkward for me as I had to stay four days in the airport, till I summoned up the courage to phone someone, I knew to beg for money for the flight home. I cried much of the plane ride home as well, staring out the windows as to not attract attention to my self. To remain unavailable, you understand.

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“Knowledge comes to a warrior, floating, like specks of gold dust, the same dust that covers the wings of moths. So for a warrior, knowledge is like taking a shower, or being rained on by specks of dark gold dust.” Don Juan Matus

Nostalgia

“Nostalgia is just a distraction for the shaman. Although it is a pleasant experience, it is something which draws him away from intent . It diverts his attention away from the task at hand.
Recapitulation is how the warrior recalls the past. And recapitulation cannot be done with a mood of attachment, nor infatuation, and certainly not through entanglement. Only by adopting a mood of detachment and sobriety is it possible. This means not longing for the past but being able to relive the situation sufficiently without emotion, to release the energy trapped there. Within the energetic field of the human being, energy becomes en-crushed on the surface of the luminous cocoon through the experiences we go through. Recapitulation has the effect of moving the assemblage point back to the same location it was when you went through the experience. With the sweeping breath it is possible to redeploy this en-crushed energy to the vital organs of the body. What nostalgia amounts to is a personalising of the experience you are recalling and it serves no purpose to the warrior.”
TW15junib bolg

Singularity – the unfolding

“The universe is a divergence, a division of oneness arising from a singularity of everything uniquely whole. From this Singularity comes the separation of form which we are currently experiencing. Everything will return to wholeness ultimately, it is my firm belief. The existence of light and dark is only an illusion of this separation of matter. Everything we are experiencing is an expression of creation through consciousness. A process that is set to enrich and develop our awareness and perception of it.” TW

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